Christian singles have sexual feelings like anyone else. We just romanticize and emotionalize them a bit more. Christian singles also realize that sex is "deeper" than just the physical act itself. Christians realize that physical lovemaking has spiritual and emotional components that make it much more meaningful. That is precisely why single Christian men and even women think more about the topic.
The above is especially true of Christians who have been abused. Recently I met a woman who shared the following:
"As a woman who was sexually abused in her own home at a very young age, I have struggled a lot with sexual impurity and guilt. I went to counseling for years (because of the abuse) and now am a mental health professional. Yet, I know from my professional background that in spite of all my healing, there are just some changes in my brain and my chemistry from childhood that just make me a more sexual person than I otherwise would have been. I was tired of the guilt and just spoke to my boyfriend about my sexual feelings and fantasies and he told me he has similar fantasies. We prayed together that God would help us remain in control of ourselves and our sexual urges because we want to save sex for marriage. We also set up rules for ourselves that would keep us from getting into situations that would give us means and opportunity (because the motive - temptation - is there)."
Granted not all single Christians are the same, but every couple that is dating exclusively (especially Christian couples) should have a sex talk, and share what their insights are as far as setting up fences long before the cliff as not to tip toe until over the edge. When a Christian single guy or woman learns over time to trust their soul mate and is willing to work with her for the sake of putting Christ first in the relationship (e.g., above sexual feelings and impulses), he/she is much more free to experience who they fully are, relaxing and knowing that there is no pressure for sex.
For Christian singles, when we deeply connect with with the opposite sex on other levels (emotional, intellectual, spiritual) we feel a strong need (our own yearning) and obligation (to please) to reciprocate, sexually.
As followers of Jesus we need to assure our date of our love, commitment, and devotion that will not fade even if we choose not to have sex with them.
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